Saturday, 29 December 2018

I am Older and wickedly free

I have like most of us, spent many years in fact all of my life up until now, worrying and stressing. (in my case its about family and people and friends , never about money or other stuff although I have never had much, that does not matter a fig to me. ) So I have always been a carer, cared for my hubby and two sons, cared for both of my parents before I lost them, I have worried and stressed over all their drama's, health issues, relationships and state of mind. I will never completely stop worrying as its in my nature but recently I came to a new decision. 


THIS IS MY TIME  !  (large letters because its a large thing in my life ) ##


I don't know how much time I now have to live my life but I have decided that it will be as peaceful and free as it possibly can be. Here are some of the things that have come about from this decision..


  • I told my sons and their partners I can no longer take any drama, it has scarred my heart forever and I now need peace, so please, unless you really need me to know things , please deal with them the best you can without my knowledge. I also told them that it is because of how much I love them, that I have made that decision, its because although I always want to help, always want to make things better, that I have in the past been there for them so much. But … I am not in control of any of it, and never can be. All it does is breaks my heart again or worries me until I am sick. 
  • I have stopped stressing about not posting things like cards and things to friends. I find it difficult as well as expensive to send Christmas cards and stuff to all my friends and the pain of forgetting someone (which I am getting terrible at ) is more stress and worrying so instead I now give to charity.

  • I buy all my grandchildren (11 of them ) a birthday gift but I have now stopped Christmas present buying for them, they each have two lots of parents who make Christmas special for them. I have no idea what they each like individually, and I don't like getting it wrong, Plus they do not even notice with all their other expensive gifts. So now I only buy for their parents. 


There are a few more things I have done and will do, to make my later life more stress free and peaceful, they include making more memories with family without spending much money,gentle happy times. They also include using all the nice things I have including perfumes make up, aromatic candles etc on a daily basis instead of keep for 'best'. Also I now do not care what other people think about me, my choices, my furniture, my house, my looks etc. Everything I do now will be for myself. hubby and the people I love, just because ….


And so I do believe that 2019 is something of a truly NEW YEAR.


I am wishing you all the very best for 2019 too. My friends are in my loved ones list and I hope to include you all in my NEW YEAR.


Hugs and love. June x




13 comments:

  1. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you write as parents we worry and stress over things which let's face it we had to resolve ourselves and we only have 4 young grandchildren so still but for them but as you say they have so much stuff so they have a set ammount each and if unsure I ask the parents what they need-i only make Christmas cards for close family and for everyone else I buy a cheapish box from Asda -if they don't like it who cares we only hear from them to with a yearly Christmas card!!!I use my candles and perfume every day too and had a drastic declutter and in the process of a craft declutter too-my hubby was diagnosed almost two years ago with early onset Altzhimers and vascular dementia amongst other health problems so need no extra drama here too we have enough on a daily basis-my craft time is my switch off and me time.
    Sending you best wishes for a stress free and calm New Year
    Carol x x

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    1. Thanks Carol, I am so sorry about your hubbies diagnosis. My mam had early onset Alz and I looked after her for many years. I truly understand how hard it must be for you. Also to have to cope with it being your hubby must be even worse as you will be feeling the lonliness too. My love to you dear friend and I am always here if you need a listening ear. x

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    2. Thank you June -my Mum had Dementia too such a cruel disease
      Carol x

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    3. It is indeed, I lost my mother in August this year after a 18 year battle. x

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  2. WHoot whoot! :D Welcome to the club honey! You may feel the occasional pang of guilt that you should help someone, but don't give in to it. Been there done that..let's make the T shirt :D I had never been so calm until I started saying no to people. We can be sympathetic and even helpful without allowing the drama of others to affect us directly. Stay strong friend and enjoy your freedom XXX

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  3. *having a senior moment lol...I think I commented, but not sure if I published*

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  4. Apparently I did lol hahahahaha

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  5. We all need time for ourselves June. I agree totally that there comes a time that we need to evaluate our lives and take a little bit of it back. Enjoy those time as they are worth their weight in gold.
    Wishing you and the family all the best for 2019 and make sure you keep a little piece of it just for you.
    Hugs Tracey xx

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  6. Enjoy each day as it comes and make the most of it...happy new year..
    hugs annie.xx

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  7. Hello June. I hope you have a very happy and peaceful time following your own new "rules" One word which has been really helpful to me is the word "No". Just "No", nothing added, no extra excuse or anything. It does work. (I found your blog today via a comment on another blog).
    Happy New Year!

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    1. Thanks Sheila, nice to have a new friend. I am going to go and see your blog now and add myself to follow. Thanks for the fab advice x

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  8. Good for you June! I am proud of you! Sending you many blessings for 2019!! Big Hugs!

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